'Ouch' Potatoes: Hoops fans plan vasectomies around March Madness
CHATTANOOGA (WRCB) -- Even after the lunch rush, March Madness is more than enough to draw Joe Pleva and more than a few more, into Buffalo Wild Wings in downtown Chattanooga.
And, just as importantly, away from work.
"This is my work," commercial real estate consultant Joe Pleva says. "My phone is work, my clients can reach me, and if the top client, the wife needs me, I can get to it."
Works for him. But some basketball fans will be cutting more, than cutting out early.
"There does seem to be an increase in vasectomies this time of year," says Dr. Will Young, of Chattanooga Urology Associates.
"Do what now," says 'Bama Fan Scott McCrary, who can't quite believe what he just heard.
"I guess they want to lie around and watch the game and not have any responsibilities maybe," Dr. Young says.
Vasectomies aren't painless surgeries.
But many are performed as in-office or out-patient procedures, using only a local anesthetic. And many involve clipping, rather than snipping.
"Not me," Pleva says. "It's a crazy excuse for something like that."
But Dr. Young tells his patients he can have them in and out in an hour or less. The procedures themselves can take as little as ten minutes.
"But you need time to recover," he says. "Forty-eight hours, off your feet, with as little movement as possible goes a long way toward minimizing pain and maximizing how quickly you can bounce back."
Small wonder so many schedule vasectomies on Fridays. The perfect excuse for becoming a coach potato?
"That seems to be the gist of it," Dr. Young says. "I've had to write prescriptions for some guys to keep their wives from trying to make them do stuff."
After all, we all don't have Ryan Taylor's job.
"I'm a bartender, so I get paid to sit behind the bar, talk to customers and watch sports all day," Taylor says.
He's single, by the way.
But fellow bartender Alex Vafinis is mulling a March Madness vasectomy, when the time is 'right.'
"Maybe even during college football season," he says.
"There's not exactly a push for vasectomies," Dr. Young says. "I don't expect to see a flood of golfers coming in for the Masters."
In fact, his practice sees no other such surges in business, except at the end of the year, when patients have exhausted their insurance deductibles, or are trying to burn off their tax-deductible Health Care Savings or Flexible Spending Accounts.
One drawback to a March Madness vasectomy; you have to cheer without the beer.